hmmm...

Maybe I should not have checked my office emails.. wanted to blog but end up reading all the emails... hai.. bad decision... now that i realised that were errors in the banners I have run and causing my colleague having to sepnd time again to link the worksheets. I feel so bad about it but I'm really not very familiar with the software used. Not trying to find excuses for myself but if I was warned earlier about all these, this could have minimize a lot of unnecessary time wasted... oh well.. so much about that.. guess i'm to blame for not doing through checks as well...

Sometimes last week I was also putting in an entry in my blog... and guess what.. after typing a whole chunk of text.. the website hang!!! I was so angry..
Too lazy to re-type it after that...

Just now I chatted with my good friend! Was quite happy to get his call.. First time we chatted on phone since he went to Australia... Discover things about him that I didn't know.. Fate is really amazing at times.. but playing tricks on people at times too... well well.. whatever it is..guess what will be will be.. Hope that he can concentrate in his training for the mean time...

ok..I better go read my papers and rest early.. gonna be a long day tomorrow....

Taking a break off work...

hmmm.. working on weekends for the past weekends.. getting a bit bored so decided to take a break for a while...

It has been quite a while since I last stay at home on weekends. Feel quite relaxing to be at home but again having to work on weekends is definitely not something that I will be happy doing for sure..

Thought I will not get to see dear dear much this weekend since he will be busy with school events. But he stayed over at my place on Friday and yesterday night. It was good to have dear dear here even though was only for the night.

I have been rather busy at work for the past two weeks. Having to clear my work over the weekend and knowing that the coming week gonna be a busy week isn’t really motivating. However, I have at least put behind the negative feeling that I had and move on. Trying to be more positive and learning to adapt and have more interest in what I’m doing. Think having a more positive mindset does help!

It's a blue week....but all ends well still....

It’s been quite a while since I last have any entry in my blog. Laziness that set in? Or maybe I have been busy recently as well? Hmm…

It has been a tiring and busy week for me. Everything doesn’t seem right at work. There seems to be so many deadlines which I need to meet. However, I don’t seem to be productive. Furthermore, it didn’t help that I was emotionally affected. I’m starting to doubt if this is the job for me. It has been 3 months since I started working in this current company. But I do not seem to be enjoying my working days here. Money is definitely not a motivating factor for me. It has only been 3 months but I sometimes dread to even go to work. All these do not seem very healthy. Unhappiness level seems to be getting higher each time. Unhappy over what I’m doing, unhappy with the working environment, unhappy that I’m not learning much, unhappy feeling incompetent… Are all these reasons sufficient for me to move on? That I really do not know. About one month back I had all these thoughts and I told myself to give it say 3-6 months so that I do justice before I judge that this is not for me. Ok… right now 3 months is up. Question is whether I should hang on to another 3 more months before I decide? I really dunno. Work is kinda of piling up and I do feel the responsibility to stay on. Also, on the other hand, I do not really have a clear idea of what I want to move to for my next job if I decide to leave. As it is, at least I know I will not choose to leave without a job.

I was so unhappy and felt so lousy after work on Wednesday. I was talking to dear dear on my mobile when I was on the way home. Dear dear has also been unhappy over work and feeling lousy. Timing just wasn’t right. I was feeling so lousy that I started tearing on the bus. At that point of time, I just couldn’t stop my tears. PMS may also be the culprit. But whatever the factors that attribute was not important. All I knew was that I was feeling really lousy. I couldn’t care less even if people around me on the bus were watching me. When I alighted the bus, I couldn’t control my tears anymore and I just cried. I recalled that a couple of years back, I also cried on the bus. That was when my grandmother passed away. That may not be the only time that I ever cried on the bus but maybe that was one that I have deeper impression on. I also kinda of miss my good friend as he is overseas and I can’t just pick up the phone and call him.

In any case, all are over. Both dear dear and me have talked about it. I think dear dear is right. We should start making plans so that we have a goal we can both work towards... Next week will be a better week... =)

Has it become a dread on Sundays?

Somewhat now both dear dear and I do not like Sunday's night generally. Girl Girl has to go home and we need to work the next day...Maybe we become more attached to each other...

How How? We cannot be feeling like this every week. Else every Sunday will be terrible right? But I do not know what we can do about it though...

Been missing dear dear more on the weekdays and everyday I seem to be looking forward for weekend to come... This is bad I know and I need to be more motivated to work I guess..

All right....is a Tuesday morning.. I shall get back to work... Stay positive!

Just some thoughts....

hmmm.... Have I become more dependent on dear dear? Yesterday night when dear dear tell me that he have to go for band concert on Friday night, I feel kind of disappointed. Maybe I have kinda of try to plan what we can do for the weekend in my mind... I seem to have a lot that I wanna say to dear dear but hearing that he was tired, I can't bear to hold the conversation any longer also.. After a long day, he needs to rest too... somehow, i also forgot what I wanted to tell him.... It's ok.. we can always chat tonight...

I seem to be looking forward to Friday a lot every week so that I can meet dear dear. Whenever dear dear is busy or has other appointment, I will tend to feel disappointed. Don't really like this kind of feeling nor be over reliant on dear dear. Guess sometimes is more of a habit also. Well, guess these are part and parcel of events that will happen. I have to learn how to adapt to it and not get unhappy over them... =)

Somehow recently people around us has been asking us if we made any plans for marriage. My answer is " when the time is right, it will just be". Guess it will come naturally when the time is right for us i guess...

One year anniversary!!!

There’s so much wonderful memories with dear dear which I wanna pen down but often do not have the time to do so….

Hmm... Since I got the chance to do it now, I shall start from our one year anniversary stay at 1929. It was a romantic weekend we had. 1929’s room was not exactly fantastic but it was small and cozy. We planned to celebrate our one year anniversary together a couple a weeks back. After much searching online, we settled on 1929. We do not exactly have any concrete plans as to what we wanted to do there. More of we thought we just wanted to spend some quality time together. Just the two of us….

We reached there at about 3pm. After settling down, we went to take a look at the Jacuzzi area. Hmm…. It was really not impressive at all but we didn’t really expected much in the first place. Thus, we decided to go back to the room instead. We rested a while and laze around a bit. Somehow, the whole world seems to want to meet up that weekend. But of course, we decided to just spend time together without anyone else around. We watched TV a while and dear dear gave me a surprise present. He did a video clip using all the photos we took in the past one year and a nice song “只对你说”. It was really sweet of dear dear. The video clips brought back many fond memories we had for the past one year. From the time we were dating to becoming a couple. Of course, our beloved “Soa Soa”, “Ah Pooh” and “X’mas Pooh” are in the video clips too! I also showed dear dear my blog. I have kept a blog which is where I’m writing now. It has record of my sad and happy times. Happy times were mostly time I spent with dear dear. That is the reason by the entries in my “happy” blog is far more than the “sad” one.

After that, we decided to go for an early dinner at Chinatown area. Simple food but was still a delicious dinner. We came back, watched soccer, snuggle in bed together, drank red wine, etc…. That’s how we had a simple yet romantic night together at 1929. It was really a very relaxing and soothing evening….

Waking up with dear dear by my side...

Dear Dear stayed over on my place on wednesday night.. He came down to have dinner with me and we head back home early to rest... We had a simple dinner at Carl's Jr..

Though I had to do some work and cannot really accompany dear dear much, it was still nice to have dear dear around..especially when I woke up the next morning I could just say "Good morning dear dear!" and gave him a big hugz! Nothing is better than this to start off my day!

Day 2 of Dear Dear's and Girl Girl's week...

It’s day 2 of our week. We had a lovely evening together by the beach in Sentosa. I can’t wait for time to pass at work so that I can meet dear dear. Yesterday night, silly gal missed dear dear so much that I tear tear a little…

Dear dear picked me up from work and we head straight to Sentosa. We parked the car at the Dolphin Lagoon and took a stroll to the new food court at Palawan beach. We had a simple meal but great. After which, we sat at the beach outside to have desert, red ruby.. yum yum.. It was windy and with nice scenary. I was feeling cold and dear dear came over and hugged me from behind. It was such a warm feeling...

After which, we walked back to the car and drove to Tanjong beach. We settled down with our mat laid on at the beach. Weather was good.. Windy and we could see stars.. lots of them... The background music from the pub was rather smoothing too.. Everything was just so right! =)

Day 1 of Dear Dear's & Girl Girl's week....

It's day 1 of dear dear's and girl girl's week!!! It has been a wonderful first year with dear dear... No doubt we do have some hicupps along the way once in a while but all these will always end up drawing both us closer to each other... =)

Seems like recently people around us have been asking us if we have plans to get married... guess it's always around this age when people around starts to settle down and naturally this question... Dear dear and me have not really sat down to plan for our future..but deep down both us do know that we are "the one" for each other... I never used to understand what makes one so sure that that's the one for him/her but being with dear dear I came to understand that when you found the right person for you, you will just know it... Maybe it's when you can see yourself marrying the person and spend the rest of the life with this person.... you know he/she is the ONE for you!

Recently I seem to want to spend more time with dear dear whenever I can. Sometimes when I'm going back on sunday night, I will kinda of feel a little sad and miss dear dear...

No one can predict what's in store for both of us in the future but I'm sure with dear dear in my life, I will be a happy gal!

Happy One Year Anniversary dear dear! We will have many many more anniversaries ahead of us!!! =)

Bad day but all ends well...

hmm..should I say today is a lousy day at work? yes and no maybe...yes for the first half of the day perhaps..

Started off the da feeling rather silly ...sending my client an email that I will bring down the stuff for her in the afternoon during the meeting and later receiving a call from her that my boss has actually went down to meet her in the morning already...oh well...

In the afternoon, I bought lunch back and clumsy me spilled my orange & carrot juice all over...messy messy....

After which, another incident happened...My colleague came over to ask me regarding one of the projects that we will be launching...After knowing the details, he raised his voice and sort of vented his frustrations. I was rather angry as this is not the first time that he is doing this... I do not see the need for him to raise his voice and vent his frustrations on me. I do not deserve all these nonsense...somewhat emotions got over me.. after the anger, I tear. Maybe I was too stress, cannot control my emotions anymore. I wrote him an email conveying how I felt and the message I wanted to bring across to him. But after I have cooled down, I went to him and discuss the project to solve the problem. At least all ends well... he used a different tone. Maybe it was because he felt bad or he knew that he was in the wrong...

After all that happened, at the end of the day.. dear dear was there for me... to listen to my grumbles...so nice to know that there is always someone there for me....

Simple but a great weekend...

It was a simple yet great weekend! Got to exercise, do my housework, meet up with friends and most importantly spend time with dear dear.

It feels good to wake up with dear dear beside me. Having breakfast together at the market. Dear Dear also felt “xing fu” when can wake up with girl girl and cut nails for him...hehe...

Saturday’s blading was also a great work out after the longest time. First time that we blade this year! But I really enjoyed it. At least time was spent worthwhile.

Sunday was slow... Not much was accomplished but at least I got my ironing done before going dear dear house for steamboat... yeah... Yummy! Yummy! How lucky of me? Get to eat tasty food and dear dear parents are two nice old folks who are easy to get along with. I always feel so at ease with dear dear’s mummy. She is a very easy going person. Maybe also because my own mummy is not around so I feel that auntie is very “qing qie”. =)

Hurdle but we overcome...

It was a challenging week when many things did not seem to fall in place last week. Think this is the first time that both dear dear and me had unhappy issues that dragged on for the week. Maybe it was more on my side that I couldn't let it go.

It seems more like testing how both of us can handle situations when they arise. Dear Dear had lots of work to clear for the week. I took leave on Monday and was on mc on Wednesday. Having mood swing and falling sick added on to the unhappiness. I needed more attention. Everything just doesn't seem to fall in place....

But I'm glad that we talked things out and all are back to normal. Though I can't promise dear dear that I will answer him whenever he asks me. I will try my best to share my thoughts and feelings more openly. I know that I may need much persuasion before I say. But guess that's been just me all these while. Not that I do not wanna share but more of I tend to take longer. Also, if I know I can’t get myself to say it, I will convey using alternative methods.

I know I should have faith in dear dear but didn't know why I had fears of dear dear leaving me. Maybe it's because of my past relationship. But deep down I do know that dear dear meant what he said. He also does reassure me. But guess sometimes it can't be helped when you know how much this person means to you. The thought of losing can be really scary.

Just like last Sunday, I lost my Mickey necklace that we got from Tokyo Disney. I was really sad. Blamed myself for been careless as the necklace is part of our memories. Tried to go back to look for it and email SMRT buses to see if they find it but it's gone... hmm... I know it is just a necklace. However, it is one with memories and sentimental value. Silly me even thought that it might be a bad omen. But I have decided to move on and not brood over it. Will be more careful next time. What's more important it dear dear still loves me. That's what dear dear say....hehe =)

In fact, come to think of it, last week was not that all bad after all. Dear dear bought me lilies on Monday for me and came to look for me on Tuesday evening after my clinic for a walk. Simple way to spend our valentine's day, still it was sweet....It was the first time that I received lilies too. I also gave dear dear a special compilation CD which I burnt for him. It has all the lovely songs that dear dear likes or were meaningful to us. Ah pooh helped me deliver a card to dear dear during Batam trip and Tatty passed the CD to dear dear for me..... Hehe.....

Thanks for loving me the way you do...

The title of this post is exactly what I wanna say to dear dear... Thanks for loving me the way you do... I was really touched by what you told me last night.. especially when you know "promise" to me is a very strong word and usually neither would I want anyone to promise me anything nor me to promise anyone something.

Yesterday was a rather lousy day for me.. Slept away most of my time and accomplished nothing.. somehow can't help feeling lousy at the end of the day. Kinda of angry with myself. I was feeling sad at the end of the day too. When I was chatting with dear dear at night, my tears uncontrollably just dropped.. It got worse after I hang up the phone with dear dear. Somehow did not know the exact reason as to why I rained. I was just feeling sad and couldn't control my tears... It kept trickling down.. As I was raining, I missed my mummy. I suddenly had this scary fear of losing papa. Thinking papa was rather unhappy at work and because of granny issue. Somehow I didn't know how I can help papa in anyway to make him feel better too. It was then I decided to call dear dear. I wanna stop crying and share with him my sadness too. I knew that he would want me to share with him and be there for me when girl girl is sad too.. It was a right move to call dear dear... It was also our very first promise that we made to each other... love you dear.. =)

How much our memories means to dear dear…

Monday afternoon, dear dear called me on my mobile and asked if I was free to talk. He said," something sad happened..... At the moment, I was stunned. Thought were running through my mind and the first thought was if something happened to his granny as earlier on his granny was in hospital. I was rather relieved when I knew it wasn't. But dear dear was feeling really sad and angry as his laptop was stolen. He was sad not because of the money but the things that were inside. He was sad that he has lost all the photos and the 50 over video clips which we took in Tokyo. When I heard it, I didn't know how to console dear dear. How I wish I can be there to give him a hug.

When dear dear was driving home, I was rather worried that he would be distracted when he was driving. Furthermore it was raining too. It was only when he messaged me that he reached home then I felt better. He sms, "The pain of losing the pics just remind me realise how much u and our memories mean to me... I won't let this happen again..." On one hand, I could really feel how sad dear dear was. But on the other hand, I felt really touched that I meant so much to dear dear. I knew that he must be feeling lousy so I decided to skip my boxercise and look for dear dear instead. As I was on my way to dear dear's place, I was so afraid that he was not home....and it really happened. I called him when I was reaching and he was driving. Hmm... wanted to give dear dear and a surprised but didn't have a choice but to ask him where he was and that I was actually at his void deck. I knew I made the right choice when I saw dear dear. =)

Dear dear, though we have lost the video clips, the memories will always be with us. We can always take many many more video clips with both of us smiling. With dear dear around, girl girl will be a happy girl....What most important is my dear dear and not those video clips ya...

Dear Dear I love you!

Wonderful birthday!

Had a fantastic birthday this year too.. Having so many friends and relatives wishing me (just sms alone think I have about 30 sms).. How lucky of me to have so many people to celebrate birthday with me.. Am really a fortunate gal.. I have 4 birthday cakes in all..hehe.. =)

This year is also the first year that dear dear spend my birthday with me... It was a simple but lovely night... dear dear picked me up from work... On the way to dinner, dear dear gave me my birthday present. I was a little surprised as earlier on dear dear has been asking me what I wanted as he didn't know what to get me. Thus, I thought dear dear will bring me to buy my present and I wasn't really expecting anything... But I was happy to receive birthday tatty... =) We went to Angus House at Takashimaya for dinner. It has very nice ambiance and the food was delicious too. Dear dear said wanna celebrate my birthday with pa pa. So we bought a small cake home with brownie and ice-cream. As I had two cake in office that afternoon, I didn't really wanna have proper cake too.. Think it was really sweet of dear dear to think of coming home to celebrate my birthday with papa at the strike of twelve...