Thoughts and my way of encouraging myself...

Is research really my cup of tea? I wonder.. I seem to be doubting that.. It sometimes feel like a "con job". Do I really believe in whatever I have written? Is research really meaningful? Why am I having doubts and such thoughts on my mind? Am I just feeling tired? Oris this one project affecting me so much? I really dunno.. Maybe all I want is to just take a break.. away from everything..Do something that keep me happy. Life is short. Everyday should be a happy day. Maybe today is just a bad day.

Well in any case, I know tomorrow is going to be a better day for me. Yes, I have put in so much effort, I'm sure the client see it in my report too! Cindy Jia you! Do your very best to fufil your responsibility so long you are still in it!

幸福

幸福...Yes, I'm indeed a 幸福 girl to have dear dear... It feels great to hear from people how my dear dear feel about me. It's added assurance? Hmm... Can't really explain it but it still feel good to hear that. "You have already won Phong's heart"...

Emotions....

It's interesting to get in touch with my own emotions.... Why do all of us have emotions? I guess emotions make our lives more interesting...

I seem to be missing my dear dear more this time round compared to his last trip... I wanted so much to send dear dear off even though I know I will only get to see him for a short while... I followed my emotions and left office early to send dear dear off.. It was certainly a right choice made! I felt good and am glad that I made that choice! Somehow I'm already starting to miss my dear dear... Hmm.. it's a much shorter trip.. 3 weeks will pass soon and I will see dear dear very soon! Shall just concentrate on my work and other stuff while dear dear is away so that we can spend more quality time together when he comes back and also we can concentrate on our renovations...

Two weeks back, on Ruth's birthday.. I was also in touch with my emotions... hehe... in fact this was what my dear dear told me when I mentioned to him how I felt.. yea.. "in touch with my emotions!" We were celebrating Ruth's birthday for her.. everyone was a few words to her.. I was very touched..maybe was the whole atmosphere.. I teared even though it was her birthday! I can't really explain it but was very touched with everyone's words... Ruth is indeed a really great friend and colleague to have! She is one of the closest colleague here.... Maybe it pains my heart also whenever I see her rushing for her deadlines.. Always feel that she should take care of herself more.. "Ate Ruth, remember to take good care of yourself k..... health is more important!" I also gave her a box of "happiness".. Got her little gifts and made her a photo frame.. I put it all in a box and called it box of happiness.. Am happy that she likes it too!

Great friends are hard to come by.. I must say I am really lucky to have many great friends and colleagues around.. Thank you everyone who have made a difference in my life! I'm so blessed to have you along with me to walk through this journey of life! Of course, not forgetting my dear "papa" and "dear dear"! I'm a fortunate gal! So 幸福!

First Book purchase online....

I just bought my first book online.. "Competing on Analytics" from Better World Books. I wanted to read this book some time back but didn't get around buying it. Recently, I went for a seminar and quotes from this book was mentioned a couple of times. That reminded me about the book and have a stronger urge to read it. I went to Borders to take a look but it was close to $60 so I decided to check out the prices on online stores.

Looking forward to receive this book after I come back from my trip... I think this will be a good read! Now I shall read the books I bought last week from Borders first.. It's been a while since I last bought any books... I've started reading "Super Crunchers". Interesting read... yet to finish the book though...

Sentimental times..

Human emotions are very amazing...Happiness, sadness, excitement, surprises, moody,etc...

Where should I start? ok.. let's start from yesterday.. It was a long tiring and heavy day for me. I didn't sleep well the day before.. Slept late at about 2am and woke up in the middle of the night sneezing...Woke up early and went to pray my grandpa and mum..

Whenever I went to pray my mum, I will tend to feel a little down for that day. Guess that was the first trigger point... Was chatting with Anson and mentioned something about "nag like his mum" so I said "It's so lucky to have mum to nag at them" but usually people will tend to complain and not appreciate mum's care and concerns. How I wish I have my mummy nagging at me as well...

There were a couple of times today in the office that I felt like tearing but I kept holding back. Only teared at night when I was chatting with my dear dear and I told him how I felt for the day.. Dear Dear sang me "Grow old with you"...As he was singing, I teared.. Just like that.. lyrics was so right.. so touching.. my dear dear so sweet.. he sang another song for me after that too "I finally found someone"

Today was James last day in the company...it was interesting that I always tell him that I do not believe him.. yet I felt it when he decided to leave.. Maybe was because we got closer in the recent months because of a project. He has taught me and gave me valuable feedback also... Thanks James..He gave me and Ruth a hug before he went off too.. All the best to your new career! And of course your proposal! Moving on to next stage of your life....

What a great workout!

I went blading with my best friend and his friend today...Was a really great workout.. think is the first time that I have blade that long maybe.. Shiok!

We had BK breakfast and then blade towards Ford road then blade all the way to changi Park Connector.. Halfway to Changi we blade back to mac side... was really a long distance.. we started at about 11am and only finished at about close to 4pm... of course there were breaks in between...

I saw Agnes & Andy there when I was blading.. and the mediacorp ex-colleague from It dept as well.. Quite surprised when he called my name from behind.. cos didn't think that he remember my name.. haha... cos it's been quite a while since I left.. come to think of it.. opps.. think I do not remember his name... =P

Think I should have more of such blading sessions.....

感触....

Mixed feelings for the day...

Where should I start... Started the day going for a meeting for a project that has been dragged for the longest time... well not to bad.. at least finally it's gonna begin...

Next, it was my colleague telling me that he got a job offer. In a way, I did see it coming but on the other hand, I still felt it.... The project gonna be landing on me alone.. fear? there's bound to be.. Too many stakeholders... too much changes... too many iterations.. to the extent that I'm lost sometimes too... Well.. Looking on the bright side... I told myself... whatever doesn't kill makes us stronger... Have confidence in myself!

Went for the other client meeting after lunch.. was a good meeting.. something positive came out of a proposal that I wrote. I do feel happy though it also means more work.. but I do feel a sense of satisfaction. Told myself to have more confidence in myself.. do not be afraid to speak up too!

Back to office.. feeling tired and a little feverish/headache.. was telling Anson... tomorrow will be a better day and he said,"Is it that bad today?"...and I replied,"well it is a good day but tomorrow will be a fantastic day!" I seriously do mean it though there are some mixed feelings..

I've got a call from a recruitment agency again.. on and off, I have been recieving call but I have told myself to stay till end of the year. Thus, I haven't really consider any other options for now. Is this the right choice? I started asking myself. Or is it because I'm tired of having to go through the process? But if I were to look at things objectively, I do think that there are learning opportunities for me currently and I do get more exposure now. Moreover, chances to travel..though it may be just China only for now.

Things will just fall in place... Look at the positive side of things.. I'm sure everything will work out!

Dear Dear in HK...

Yesterday was the first day that dear dear was in Hong Kong. This is the first time that we will be apart for close to 2 months.. not sure how it will really feel but I will definitely be missing my dear dear...
Somehow I kinda of already do miss him a little in the afternoon. I was telling my colleague about it. But I got to chat with dear dear last night... We didn't manage to get the video camera to work properly but at least we got to chat...
We were so happy just now when the videocamera and video both works! Overjoyed! We can chat looking at each other tonight! Yea! Yippe! Soa Soa will get to talk to his kor kor too.... hehe.. so looking forward!

Positive attitude gets us far!

It's time to remind myself of this statement which I used to say.. Positive attitude gets us far! yep.. too many things have happened recently... maybe also too many decisions to make and I'm always one who do not like to make decisions.


Of course, it the midst of all these busyness.. there are also happy news. I got a promotion. Not exceptionally happy but it's still something worth mentioning. Of course, another happy news is "I'm wanted" after all.... hahaha.. Kelvin proposed to me on 26th April, the day before we go for our Redang holiday! It was a rather simple affair.. but yep it's still very sweet. In fact after watching the clip, I realised I was smiling all the way. I felt the happiness & sweetness reflecting the whole process and when watching the video he made for me as well... Muuah! Love you dear! Thanks for loving me for who I am and showering me love & concern... I'm sure we will be starting another wonderful journey ahead of us...

Next of course is my job.. What's next for me??? A ? for me to find out what I'm really looking for. Maybe too many resignation in the office is not really helpful as well. But yep.. Telling myself not to get affected too much and go with the flow. Whatever will be will be.....

Sorry coconut.. I made you worried for me yesterday as well. Didn't mean to not answer your call and reply your msgs. Just so happened that I was overwhelmed with things and I was unwell. But it certainly feels good to know someone who cares.. Thanks & sorry to make you worry for me...

Ok Cindy.. Be positive and yep all things will fall in place. Believe in yourself and search for what you want. Law of attraction.. Sometimes what my dear share with me really does have an impact in mind.. I will constantly be reminded of the things he said... =)